She managed somehow to simultaneously smile at Lauryn and scowl at him. “Can I help you find anything?” she asked. “We’d like to purchase a strapon dildo, please,” said Lauryn firmly. Jonathan felt a perverse satisfaction that the goth girl seemed momentarily taken aback. Her gaze flicked to him and he smiled blithely at her. Some of her hostility seemed to fade. Suddenly solicitous, she led them to an aisle filled with dildos of all sizes, shapes, and colours, and stopped in front of a selection of strapons. “What size would you like?” she asked. “What size, darling?” Lauryn turned to him with the air of a woman long married asking her husband about paint colours, but he saw the slight smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. Jonathan peered at the dildos. It was a good question: what size did he want? And did he want a simple, smooth shafted one (there were a few in rather garish colours), or a more realistically rendered simulacrum of a cock? The latter, he decided. If he was. I'm not sure if she wanted me to tell you this or not, but she also told me that she was your wife. Is that true?" It is." I responded honestly, "I love your daughter with all my heart Mary, and I swear to you on my very soul, that I would never do anything to hurt her." I see. I guess I should be upset that I wasn't invited to my only daughter's wedding. But somehow I think there's still more to all this that you haven't told me. As for convincing me that you love my daughter, that's as obvious as the fact that she loves you, yet, and here's the troubling part, she also told me if you were agreeable, and I wanted to go to bed with you she wouldn't mind, provided I didn't fall in love with you. She actually thought it would be good for me. She told me you're a fantastic lover and a true gentleman and I should experience that for myself." Uh-huh," I said looking down into my iced tea glass."Rather odd behavior for a young wife wouldn't you say? What aren't you telling me Jimmy?" Mary.
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